If anyone is looking for work in this failing economy, you might consider sending your resume to the FBI. Times are getting tight for everyone, but it seems the bureau has enough resources lying around to investigate a box left near the highway four years ago. [“The FBI and the Box of Secrets”… wasn’t that a rejected Harry Potter novel? Ok, that’s a terrible joke, but Harry Potter did top the detainee reading lists at Guantanamo.]
Sigh. It looks like the box of secrets didn’t have any magical creatures inside. Or bombs, for that matter. It was a metal box with “ELF” written on the side, left near the Schuylkill Expressway. The FBI still thinks it might mean “Earth Liberation Front,” part of the bureau’s “number one domestic terrorism threat.” It caused a four-hour delay. Inside, police found a block of wood.
Something like this probably appeared to be a very serious issue at the time. The metal box had a car antenna welded to the top, and it was attached to an electrical tower. It was completely appropriate to treat this as a dangerous situation.
But four years later and the FBI is STILL investigating this hoax?
And agents are continuing to put out requests for “leads,” simply because environmentalists might have caused the traffic jam?
And all this while there are terrorist groups not carrying out stupid pranks, but planning real attacks?
Address application cover letters to:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
935 Pennsylvania Ave, NW
Washington, DC 20535